Faith means to have complete trust or confidence in someone or something, or a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion. The biggest act of faith that I can recall was through an experience that was especially tough on myself and my husband. One month after we were married, we experienced a miscarriage. For the next year, I seemed to struggle with the thoughts of failure and disappointment. I felt like I would never ever have the opportunity to give birth to our own child. It is true that you are able to convince yourself of anything, if you listen to yourself long enough.

As many of you have experienced before, sometimes we do not always say the smartest things to others as they are grieving. I was told that I should go to a fertility Doctor or try fertility drugs. My husband and I decide against these actions. We decided to be patient and wait on the Lord’s timing. Patience is not easy, but we believed that the Lord knew what we needed. 

My womb did not stay barren for long. I found out that I was pregnant again. My obstetrician prepared me that this pregnancy could end in a miscarriage, but it did not. But this was not the end of our struggle, I had a very difficult pregnancy. I had morning sickness all day long for all 9 months. I was so sick, that I only gained 4 pounds throughout my entire pregnancy.  I was sent to the hospital one week early because my son was not showing any signs of growth in the last week of my pregnancy. 

At his birth, he weighed only five pounds and 1 ounce. He had some delays getting out of the hospital due to his low birth weight, but he overcame them. One night, when he was around 8 months of age he began having respiratory issues. We took him to the E.R. and found out that he had aspiration pneumonia. Oddly enough, everything he was eating would go into his lungs. We spent weeks at a time in the hospital. Eventually, he required the insertion of a gastric tube placed in his stomach so that he could be fed through this tube.

In the months that followed, we found out that we were again pregnant. My pregnancy was once again difficult with the same morning sickness symptoms throughout all 9 months. Our second son was born with a low birth weight as well, but he did not have the same issues at first. His issue was that he had colic. Nothing, I mean nothing, could make him happy. We tried breast milk, different types of formulas, running water, car rides, and gas drops. It took several months to get him to feel better. Our first son continued to be fed through the gastric tube, and he was able to begin eating by mouth as his condition improved. What do you think would happen four months after having our second son? Yep, you guessed it. We found out that we were pregnant again with our third son. 

All three of our sons have had a variety of medical issues. We have seen genetic Doctors and specialists throughout the years for one of them, or all of them. 

I never visited a fertility Doctor, my God made a way. It was not easy and we had to work for these three miracles. Most importantly, we all made it through those difficult years together. At times, we were overwhelmed and asked God how much more we were able to take. But he promised in his word, that he would not put more on us than we can bear. He had us in the palm of his hand and he worked everything out in his timing. These situations were financially, spiritually, and physically challenging to endure. But our faith in God, allowed us to hold on in faith believing that he would work all things out for our good, and he did. If we did not have our faith in God, we would not have made it through these situations and have three happy and healthy teenage sons.

Did you ever imagine that you would be writing a blog? No, me either. But here I am, at the age of (none of your business) writing about blogs, PSA’s and rhetorical analysis. First off, I didn’t think that I would have anything to write about or that anyone else would feel was worth their time to read. My son created a Youtube channel before I did, and that is exactly what I asked him. “What do you have to share, that the rest of the world can’t live without?” The answer is still nothing. But in this class, I get to tell stories about my life, or I get to make them up. So that kinda takes the pressure off. 

After being out of school for so long, I have developed my own writing style with the help of Facebook. My posts on social media are not misspelled, or using my own abbreviations or yelling at others, but I know that my commas may not always be in the right spot. For me, the hardest part of coming back to school has got to be the challenges or obstacles that I am encountering while taking this online English class. I have overcome quite a few hurdles so far. First off, I didn’t know how to operate Blackboard and I signed up for two online classes on my first semester back to college. Now I have a pretty good grasp on Blackboard and I am starting to find hidden gems and assistance that I didn’t realize was there before. Secondly, I am not very tech savvy. I learn how to do things by pointing  and clicking and through trial and error. Among other things, I have difficulty understanding how to transpose a google document over to a PDF, etc. 

But in this class, I have been challenged to find different avenues or venues to express my writing in. I have never made a video, unless it was using photographs. So I have met that challenge. Yes, I have had to make tweaks and revisions to my work along the way, but I did not give up. I still struggle with the critical thinking skills that I need to analyze my own writing or to complete a peer review, but I am going to keep working on this area until I accomplish this task. Years ago, I became overwhelmed and decided to take a “break” from college. My boyfriend at the time, also took a “break,” but he did not go back to school. I had to pick myself up and convince myself that I had to go back to school, because I didn’t want to flip burgers or sling tacos for the rest of my life. So I started back to school, and I overcame all the obstacles in my path that tried to convince me that I was not smart enough to complete the LPN program. One thing that I regret now, is that I did convince myself to drop down to the LPN program instead of finishing the RN program. I would not be returning back to school at this time, if I had not changed the path that I was on. So here I am again, having to give myself a lecture and remind myself that I can do this. I have to speak to myself in uplifting thoughts. I  have to get rid of my stubbornness, and read, and reread the directions until I am able to focus on the task at hand. Right now, that task is to finish revising my writing until I am able to submit my final portfolio.

I woke up today and started my day just like I would any other day. I put on my deodorant, I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and fixed my hair. I then went to check in on my boys to see if they had finished getting themselves ready as well. But something was different. When I walked into the living room, I saw my youngest child standing there. But I didn’t just see him, on the edges of my visual field, I could see statistics about his life. It reminded me of a scene from a movie, as if I was a robot or a machine. It startled me so much, that I let out a scream. I asked him if he was seeing anything different when he saw me, and he stated, “no.” Imagine the shock that comes to a parent, when you can see at what age your child will begin dating, at what age your child will lose his virginity, and at what age your child will lose his life.

This new superpower was not only visible when I saw my youngest child, but it was also present when I came into contact with both of my other boys as well. Due to this frightening experience, it caused me to be dazed and confused. I began to ask myself, how did this happen? What did I do? Why is it that I am the only one who can see this information? The boys had to bring my focus back to the fact that we were running late, so we left the house and headed off to school. 

As I dropped the boys off to school, I could again see the statistics around the edges of my visual field when I saw their classmates. I had to close my eyes. I wanted to focus on something else until my boys were completely out of the vehicle so that I could leave the school parking lot without seeing the statistics on every child that was entering the school.

I left the school and headed for the grocery store. Upon walking into the store, I was surrounded by several people of various ages. Most of the statistics displayed for the year of their death was closer to 2045. That didn’t bother me as much, because that was still so far away. But just as I was about to head to the checkout counter, I saw a young woman that had a toddler in her cart. When I looked at the lady, I saw her different statistics, but the one that caught my eye was her statistic that stated that she only had 10 days left to live. I was horrified. How could this young lady only have 10 days left to live? She has a toddler that still needs her, and she is still so young.

I toiled over my thoughts trying to decide what I should do. I knew that I could not tell the lady about my superpower. Because, I don’t even know how long this superpower will last. I could not tell her how many days she has left to live because she will think I am insane. She may possibly even slap me. As a christian, I was stricken with grief because I didn’t even know anything about this lady. What if I didn’t do anything? Could I live with myself if I let her pass me by and not say anything to her?

I decided that I could not let pass by this lady without saying anything. I began by smiling at the toddler, and used that as a way to begin talking to this lady. I asked her how old her baby was, and she stated that her little girl was 14 months old. I asked a few more questions about her daughter, and then I paused for a moment. I told her, I don’t intend to make you feel uncomfortable, but I need to tell you that God loves you. I reassured the lady, that I was not asking her to join my church or pressure her into an experience that she was not comfortable with. I explained to her, that I believe that God had sent me to the store today with a purpose of making a difference in someone else’s life today. I did not know why I was given this superpower, but I knew that I had to turn this superpower into a positive experience instead of a depressing one. 

I asked the lady if I had her permission to tell her one more thing, and she said yes. I told her that I wanted to do something for her that I had never done before. I opened my wallet and I handed all of my cash over to her. I explained that I felt as if she was facing something in her personal life and I felt the need to tell her to focus on her family. I encouraged her to go on a small trip or to go to the zoo with her daughter. Of course she tried to refuse the money, but I insisted that she should keep it. I put my items back on the shelf, and I immediately left the store. 

As I was getting into my car, tears began to flood my eyes. I did not ask for this experience, but it did teach me to open my eyes to the world around me. I wondered how many other times had I passed by someone in the store who had very little time left on earth and they didn’t even know it. I learned to not be focused on all of my troubles that I cannot see what someone else is facing or is soon to face. I said a prayer for the lady that day. I prayed that God would allow her to feel comforted by this gesture and use it to spend quality time with her family. I also prayed that God would bring peace to her family if the statistic was correct about the date of her death.

A dream is a series of thoughts, ideas or emotions that occur in the different levels of sleep. Your body naturally makes adjustments to allow for this to happen. Your temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, and respirations decrease. However, in order to dream, your muscles must relax.  I have a hard time allowing my body to relax because I am always wondering if I missed a youth event for my children, missed my daily devotion time, missed an assignment, missed an email from a teacher, missed a family members call, missed telling someone happy birthday on Facebook, etc. But if I was to plan out my own dream for tonight, it would go like this;

On a bright, sunny day, my husband and I boarded our flight to San Francisco, California. Of course, our seats were located in first class. We excitedly headed to our seats, as we have never sat in this section before. We were sitting in big, roomy, comfortable, and relaxing chairs. There were only 2 chairs on each side of the aisle. So my husband and I were sitting next to each other and did not have to sit directly by anyone we didn’t know. There were several other elderly passengers sitting in the first class section, but they were reading a book or taking a nap. Most importantly, there was no children. 

Since we have 3 teenage sons, we are always looking for a chance to get away for a date or on a trip by ourselves.  We love our boys dearly, but we need time to ourselves as well. Our date nights often get distrurbed, because we usually manage to end up sitting near screaming children in restaurants or sitting next to them on a flight. But not on this trip. It was a nice, quiet flight. We landed safely and on schedule. We retrieved our luggage and found our shuttle to our next destination.

We were transported to the Port of San Francisco and boarded the Carnival Miracle. Rightly named, because it is a miracle and a dream come true to be able to go on this cruise together. For the next 16 days, we were finally going to be able to relax and unwind with each other. The added pressures of going to school not only affected me but it also affected my husband, who helped out around the house while I was busy doing school work or working. 

For the first time, we were privileged to enjoy a balcony suite, as we were only able to stay in an oceanview room on our last two cruises. We were both content to be able to spend our time sitting on the balcony watching the myriad shades of blue water as we cruised along. The amount of peace and relaxation that enveloped us, as we spent our time on the balcony sipping coffee and watching the dolphins jumping, was blissful. 

We love the cruising life because there is a wide variety of activities for all to experience. Each morning, an activity itinerary was placed under our door. This itinerary listed all of the activities that were available on the cruise ship that day in addition to the swimming, shopping, or clubs that you were able to enjoy. This itinerary gave us the freedom to choose how we wanted to spend our day. During the night, we enjoyed going to the main dining room dressed in formal wear and then going to watch the live musical or drama presentation.

At each destination, we were able to live adventurously by going jet skiing, ziplining through paradise, snorkeling, or swimming with the dolphins. We also enjoyed  going sight seeing around the island to learn about the history and the culture of the island. We were able to explore the romantic beauty of a garden filled with waterfalls, endangered plants, and a luscious green tropical rainforest. One of my favorite activities, was being able to attend a Hawaiian Luau. From the beating of the drums, to the lei’s, to the food, the luau was a main highlight of our trip. This was by far the best trip we have ever been on.  This is my idea of perfect dream. Spending quality time with the man I love in paradise watching the beautiful sunset.

1 Chronicles 28:20: And David said to Solomon his son, be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the Lord God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord. Although this was a statement that was made by David to his son Solomon, I believe that this statement was recorded in the Bible for a purpose. I believe that it was to be spoken into the heart of every believer’s life. I would like to tell you how this statement has been confirmed in my life.

My husband and I were married on September 8, 2001. After the reception, we said our goodbyes to our family and friends and began our way to begin our honeymoon. All of a sudden, we heard a loud noise. My husband pulled into a local gas station and discovered that we had a flat tire. He placed the spare tire on our car and we continued towards our hotel room. In the morning, we had our tire repaired at Sears once they were opened. These events were saddening, because this was not how your honeymoon is supposed to start out.

Due to the unexpected delays with our car repair we decided to change our honeymoon destination. Instead of driving to New York City and Canada, we decided to stay closer to home and travel to Indiana. As we awakened on the morning of September 11, 2001, we turned on the television to find that every channel was showing live coverage of the bombing that was occurring at the World Trade Center in New York City. We had a sickening feeling in our stomachs, neither one of us had spoken to our parents since we had last seen them at the wedding reception. We then called our worried parents to let them know that we were safe and sound, and that we were in Indiana instead of New York.

Call me superstitious if you want to, because I do believe in chance. Some might read this post and say, so what? So you were on your honeymoon. What does this situation have to do with being in New York? It was by chance that we were not in New York. It was very sobering to think that if we had not had a flat tire on our wedding night, we could have continued on with our original honeymoon plans and could have possibly been a victim of the attacks on America on September 11, 2001.

In the scripture listed above, it says that Lord God will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord. As we sat in our hotel room and watched the live coverage of the attacks, we instantly knew that God was not finished with us. He still had a purpose to fulfill in our lives. This event caused us to have a new outlook on life. Every year as we celebrate our anniversary, we are again reminded at how precious our lives really are, and how grateful that we were allowed to begin our lives together.